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9/11/2001: REPORT FROM LADDER 18 - INSIDE THE NORTH TOWER

It is winter. Many months have passed since the terrorists attack on the World Trade Center. Yet to me, that day, September 11th seems chiseled in stone, never to be worn down by time.

Captain Carl Grunewald of Ladder 18 has asked me to put into words, my recollections of the events that transpired that day. He warns me, that events and things that occurred will be forgotten. I think that will never happen to me. Since there are so many emotions about writing on such a tragic event, I feel I must concentrate my efforts on reporting the facts of what happened that day. I know that the pain, sorrow, and sadness that I feel for all firefighters, police, emergency workers and civilians that died have crept into my inner soul and probably will remain there forever.

The morning of September 11th starts like most mornings in firehouses around the city. Firefighters make coffee, catch up on firehouse news, check the apparatus and find their riding position for the tour. This is all interrupted at 8:47 a.m. by a plane that crashes into the North Tower of the World Trade Center. Little did Lt. Borega, Firefighters; Charlie Maloney, Harry Coyle, Steve Merenda, Ralph Cardino, Kevin Murray and I realize that this incident would change all of us, the Fire Department and the city we work for. It would become the most tragic and eventful day in New York City history.

Ladder 18 is located on the Lower East Side of Manhattan and is housed with Battalion 4. On September 11th, Battalion 4 responds after the initial plane crash. Ladder 18 respond eight minutes later, approximately 8:55 AM on the 5^th alarm to box 8087, World Trade Center-North Tower. Via department radio we hear that people are jumping from the upper floors and that the whole building is being evacuated . Charlie Maloney, who is very knowledgeable about fires and building construction, mentions to us, that he has a funny feeling and doesnÕt like the sound of this. Lt. Borega tells me, the chauffeur for the day, to respond to the WTC by the FDR drive through the West street tunnel at the Battery. Just before we reach West Street tunnel, the South Tower is hit by another plane. Even though we hadnÕt witnessed the crash, the flames and thick black smoke from the impact could be seen before entering the tunnel. We all sense the terrible reality that we are heading into something much larger and more horrifying then a single plane crash. Lt. Borega immediately looks at me and we both verbalize something about a terrorist attack. My foot starts to bounce on the accelerator pedal, dancing with anxiety.

It is just south of Liberty on West Street that we first encounter debris from the plane crashes. I steer away from Liberty Street and head north on West Street away from possible impact from falling building parts and jumpers. Since we are heading to the North Tower, I park the apparatus under the pedestrian walkway-bridge that goes over West Street. The bridge affords us protection from debris, falling off the tower, while we make our way to the Command Post in the lobby. Still we have to hug the outer portion of the tower, hoping that nothing falls on or near us. Once inside the lobby of the North Tower we prepare for a long climb. Lt. Borega goes to the command post to get our floor assignment. While waiting, we watch the chaotic scene unfold before us. Jumpers fall from the sky and crash on the pavement outside the large lobby windows. The Fire Commissioner moves through the throng of firefighters, telling us to evacuate the building, seeming to imply not to worry about putting out the fires. Fire Chaplain Mychal Judge is silent, seeming to be praying for all of us, his eyes not looking at any one in particular but silently speaking to all to be safe. At this time, Harry Coyle nudges me and whispers, "KevinÕs father is in one of the towers." I think of the tremendous emotion and anxiety I have and know that Kevin has to bear with the extra burden of having a relative on the upper floors of the tower.

Lt. Borega returns from the command post at the lobby and tells us to start on the 3^rd floor and work our way up to help evacuate people. We will check the stairways and floors and assist civilians who are trapped or need assistance coming down. I am surprised and a bit relieved that Ladder 18 is not climbing far, but the words, "make your way up", clearly means that we are eventually going to climb. We decide to drop and leave our spare air cylinders in the lobby. The extra weight is not needed. We all sense that we must conserve our energy and climb slowly and quietly. I grab a few bottles of water from an abandoned newsstand and hand some to Harry. Water will be needed.

As we enter the stairs, we meet people evacuating the upper floors. Some are wet and exhausted. I am impressed by their behavior, no shouting or pushing, but openly concerned about the firefighters welfare and for others still coming down. When we reach the 4^th floor, Steve and Ralph force a few doors and no one is found. Charlie realizing that some of the lower floors are probably maintenance areas tells us to take a quick look around and then to go up. We enter the 5^th floor. Once again, we are in a maintenance area. Lt. Borega tells us to find all the stairwells and staircases that lead down. We discover that three staircases are in use evacuating people.

Suddenly the North Tower starts to rumble and shake violently. We all head toward stairwell "B" and huddle near the door while the floor we are on shakes and rumbles for thirty or more seconds. Lights go out and we are thrown into total darkness. Stairways and hallways fill with smoke and dust as the rumble and roar subsides. All of us start to speculate on the cause of the rumble. Could it be another plane crash or localized collapse? Someone in the darkness mentions a bomb. There is little time now to ponder what just happened. What could shake the North Tower so violently?

Lt Borega tells us to start a lighting relay with our flashlights to assist the civilians that are leaving the staircases and converging with us on the fifth floor. Apparently smoke and dust have filtered up or down the staircases and elevator shafts causing civilians to look for another way down. Communication abruptly stops on our department radios. Only a few mayday and urgent messages are heard then abruptly end. Charlie Maloney decides to go down stairwell "B" to see if this staircase is still usable. The rest of us guide and redirect civilians from stairwells "A" and "C" to stairwell "B" and wait for CharlieÕs word to send them down. Stairwells "A" and "C" are heavily charged with smoke and dust and appear to be unusable at this time. We are concerned that we are unable to contact Charlie, but with the growing anxiety among civilians on the 5^th floor who want to evacuate, we guide them down to the lobby. At this time with no other civilians coming down any of the stairwells Lt. Borega tells us to leave the 5^th floor and says, "LetÕs get out of here." I question Harry Coyle about CharlieÕs whereabouts. He assures me that Charlie went down stairwell "B" and is probably helping people leave the lobby. As Lt Borega, Steve, Kevin, Ralph, Harry and I descend, I can only hope we will meet him there.

The scene in the lobby now is complete chaos. Small fires and smoke rise from one area. Marble sections that lined the walls have smashed. Cable, glass and elevator parts litter the area. We maneuver around the debris looking for Charlie and are met by a Rescue firefighter saying that, there are Fire Department members trapped on the 11^th floor. Ralph and I exchange glances. We turn around and start to ascend the "B" staircase again to assist in the rescue effort. Ralph says to me, "Boy, we're tempting fate now!" We reach the 6^th or 7^th floor and are met by many firefighters coming down the stairs, informing us that the upper floors are collapsing and there is a heavy odor of gas and fuel. Fearing for our safety due to the rapidly deteriorating conditions, Lt. Borega tells us to head back to the lobby.

Hoping that Charlie has left the building we meet Engine 28 in the lobby. Harry and I mention to Roy Chelsen of E28 that L18 is leaving the tower. Lt. Borega also tells Engine 28's officer that we are leaving. Debris can be seen falling outside the lobbyÕs broken doors as both companies attempt to leave. Once again we are forced to hug close to the outside perimeter of the building fearing that debris might fall on us. We reach the pedestrian walkway on West Street and Harry sits down on the back step of a fire engine to catch his breath. Steve and Ralph continue north on West Street unaware that Harry is feeling sick. I look at Harry and then glance over his shoulder. I am stunned by the terrible destruction just south of the North Tower. I try to come up with some explanation for it but canÕt. Something is telling me to leave this area right now. I tell Harry, "If you can get up, I think we should move now." Harry nods, says something and then rises from the back step of the engine.

Lt Borega, Kevin, Harry and I start to walk fast in a northerly direction on West Street. Fifteen seconds later near the corner of Vesey and West Street we hear a terrible roar behind and above us. The upper section of the North Tower begins to collapse and push out a wave of smoke, ash and debris. We run in fear for our lives. The entire North Tower collapses and we are not going to out run the tremendous cloud of ash and debris that is toppling down and bulging outwards. Kevin and I dive under a fire truck while Lt. Borega, Harry and Steve take refuge behind or under other parked apparatus. I hug the ground in a fetal position, protecting my eyes and face from pellets of concrete that are bouncing off my fire helmet and body. A dark cloud of dust and ash engulfs the undercarriage of the fire truck. I gasp for air and pull my hood over my mouth and nose. The noise from the collapse is intense.

Unexpectedly, the loud crashing sounds subside. It is strangely quiet. I hear a muffled voice, which I think is KevinÕs, inquiring if we are trapped or buried. I raise my head and move backwards, holding my hands up and touching the bottom of the apparatus chassis. I move about eight feet until I am able to get up off my knees. I yell to Kevin that we are not buried. The dark brown cloud begins to diminish. I make out outlines of vehicles ahead. Kevin moves next to me. Squinting and peering through the haze, we try to focus our eyes while stumbling and moving north on West Street.

We leave the terrible fire and destruction behind us and start to look for Lt. Borega and the rest of Ladder 18. A few minutes later emergency workers and firefighters can be seen moving in all directions. One stops and tells Kevin and me to sit down on the curb. He pours water on our heads and we try to clean away some of the grit that is lodged around our eyes. With our vision improved, Kevin and I continue to look for Ladder 18. Lt. Borega, Charlie, Harry, and Steve spot us about ten minutes later. It is a tremendous relief to see all of them, especially Charlie Maloney who had left us earlier inside the tower. We also find Bob Newman from Battalion 4, who tells us how he narrowly escaped from the collapse of both towers. He surely looks that way with both his shoes blown off his feet! I ask Lt. Borega, where Ralph Cardino is. He says, "We have to continue looking for him." Steve mentions, that Ralph was running ahead of him when the tower collapsed but isnÕt sure where he hid or escaped to. It would be many hours before we heard of RalphÕs whereabouts. He ended up in Engine 7 and Ladder 1Õs quarters on Duane Street after being hustled into a emergency pickup truck that headed north to 14^th street after the North Tower fell. HeÕs rattled but O.K. Ladder 18 is extremely fortunate. All of us make it out of the North Tower.

The hours we spent after the collapse seem now to be a complete blur. The death, destruction and fire after the collapse dulled our senses and overwhelmed us. The shock of witnessing the mass destruction and chaos close-up after just escaping the towers brought on a sense of futility. What could we do to help? All we could do was just hope that other firefighters, police, rescue workers and civilians made it out. We knew that it would take an extraordinary rescue effort to find and reach anyone alive.

I would like to thank everyone from the 4^th Battalion and Ladder18. From our most junior to our most senior firefighters, you have shown courage, dedication, compassion and humility in the most trying of times. I am fortunate to work in a great battalion and firehouse that, through these difficult times, has done what was necessary. Your courage and compassion started the moment the WTC was attacked and lasted through the long, sad months of autumn which were full of memorial services and remembrances. All of you should be proud to be firefighters in Ladder 18, the 4^th Battalion and New York City.

                                                                                    FF Hugh J. Mettham